Do you ever make plans just to see them Unravel? You get everything in order and all of the sudden you find yourself picking up pieces from the floor. It seems like nothing you do works out how you want it. Let me tell you something though. What Ever it is, it will only be temporary. Want to know something else? It happens to everyone at some point. The cause? It is called being human. we tend to put a lot of expectation on ourselves and the expectation is much higher than perfection. We were not made to be perfect in any way because that is what makes us unique. We have different experiences that shape us and our character that gives us our individuality which makes each one of us one of a kind.
The beauty of life isn’t that things run like clockwork. It isn’t a flawless existence either. There is beauty in being unique. There is beauty in something that has been unraveled. When you unravel something it can have two meanings. I have already mentioned the first. It means to undo. The second means to take apart to discover, or something that has come undone to reveal a plan or plot. Both are closely related and both can have a positive or negative light. I believe that beauty lies in nakedness. Not just physical nakedness but emotional as well. Being naked in both senses shows you trust the company you are in because you are at your most vulnerable, yet I believe it can be your most powerful moment. You see being naked requires much more than to be naked, it takes courage, trust, and strength. You have the courage to get naked, you trust that no harm will come to you, and you have the strength to keep going in your nakedness.
How does nakedness relate to being unraveled? If you have to take apart something for discovery’s sake, then wouldn’t you get naked to find out who you are?
Happiness. Is it something that is reflected off the surface, or does it shine from the inside? Is it something given, or is it earned? Can you achieve it or does happiness find you? Let me tell you that it can be one of these things or all of them. Happiness isn’t confined to one obtainable source, and not everyone is lucky enough to stumble upon it, but there is something that everyone can do to provide it to someone else.
Happiness can be generated by ourselves by what we achieve, and the gifts we give. It can come as a realization of contentment or in pursuit of your dreams. It can come from a spouse, a friend, a child, or even an enemy. It can come from a game, a job, a place, a car or any other object, but it isn’t where it comes from that matters. What matters is where it goes.
Lives are changed by happiness. When we are happy we feel like we are on top of the world, that nothing can bring us down, that we are Champions. We are on a euphoric high that can be very contagious. Happiness is something that we all should strive to share, to create. We do have to be careful though because happiness can consume, and cripple. If we let someone else’s happiness get in the way of our own, we start to lose our own happiness. We have to know when enough is enough and when to focus on ourselves. Happiness requires balance.
We as humans like to make nests so to speak. We find a place we like, buy some land (or rent) and we settle down. We then become defensive if someone threatens to encroach in our space. This applies to personal space as well when we are outside of our territory. We like to mark our territory with property lines, fencing, and the such. Our government and all the governments in the world do it as well will country borders, state borders, etc… We see our territory as a place where we are in control, where we can feel safe. Is this how we are supposed to live? Is this what nature intended? I believe it isn’t.
Our territory has become our prison. We force ourselves to live in a confined area that we call home. Now we may enjoy our home and people find that they can get away and be free inside their home and that is all fine and dandy but why can’t we fee free outside the home? It’s not our territory. Why is it when we want to travel outside of the country we need a passport and visas to enter other countries? Our travel is restricted by these invisible lines on a map controlled by people who what to control us. These lines do not exist physically to keep us in or out of a certain area. The earth is our territory, as humans, we should have every right to explore our planet that we live on. Why do countries get to decide that we can’t go somewhere because we don’t have a paper saying who we are? I know security is an issue, but if someone who wants to cause harm wants to go somewhere they will find a way to get in no matter what safeguards are in place.
I’m not suggesting that we get rid of passports or not keep track of who is going where, but why do the governments make it so hard for us to travel to experience the rest of the world? Why just because we are from a certain country we cannot go a visit another country? Why is every government concerned with being the best on their own, or wanting to control everything? I’m not suggesting a single world government but I am begging the question when are governments going to realize if we all work together we can improve humanity all across the globe. We as humans are selfish and we only want to look out for our interest, what will improve my territory, what will I benefit from this. What we don’t understand is our territory is only temporarily ours, but it always belongs to the earth. The earth will always reclaim its territory in time as long as we don’t destroy it first. We can save our planet if we work together and not let borders get in the way.
Sorry for being all over the place today, just writing as I think.
Purple. Purple is my favorite color. Actually, it is one of my favorite colors. My other favorite colors are emerald green, red, black and white. Something about purple makes it stand out above the rest, though. It reminds me of royalty, of something luxurious, and something exciting, but not overly excited like I associate with yellow. I also relate “psychic” energy with purple. I want to focus on the psychic portion of this color. I don’t just mean psychic as a fortune telling power, but also with psionic abilities like moving things with your mind, sci-fi abilities to get into someone else’s head, like mind reading or mind corruption. This ability set interests me a great deal because we don’t know 100% if this is impossible because we only utilize our brain in a small percentage. My fascination with psychic abilities started with the game StarCraft. The Protoss race in the game is centered on this “energy” that I closely relate to psychic energy. There are characters that create an electric storm with their psychic ability. They are also able to drain “energy” from opponents and fuse with another similar character to create a different unit that is made of pure energy. Anyways these were my favorite units to use against my enemy. Back to reality, it has left me wondering how much more capable our minds are if we were able to use a higher percentage of our brain. Is it like the movie limitless where we end up as a mass of pure energy and can get into computers and networks and the such? Or is it more like psychic abilities that we can manipulate the world around us only using our mind. Maybe we just become super smart or hyper-aware of everything. Or just maybe we are driven to the point of insanity because we can’t handle what a “more powerful” brain gives us. Maybe some insane people use more of their brain and they can’t find a way to cope with their abilities. They are seen as insane to us because what they are experiencing is something that “normal” people can’t relate to. Like if it doesn’t happen to the majority of people then it isn’t normal. Maybe this thought is wrong.
Whatever is the reality with insane people I hope that they find comfort in something and that they are able to cope. Just so we are clear these are just thoughts, not rational ideas for defining anything, nothing I say has any particular bearing and may be proven wrong quick and easy and I welcome any proof against what I am saying and also proof to support what I am saying.
A mind is a powerful tool. When people use it great things can be done. Just look at the world around us. I have thoughts on a daily basis that put me in awe of the power of human intelligence, like how did so-in-so figure out how to make the internet, or how did people figure we can transmit data wirelessly or even voice wirelessly. Many other thoughts like these pass my mind daily and it makes me appreciate what gift we all have, the gift of a powerful brain that works with such complexity and that can solve almost any problem. I never want to stop learning.
Ordinary bores me. It is a dull hum in a busy world. What I would do to not have an ordinary life! If you want to change you have to do something about it. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Most of us meet this definition. We cry and complain about not having this awesome life but we don’t do anything to change our situation. Our heart wants these desires to come true but if we don’t make a logical path to those desires and follow through with action all we are doing is dreaming about one life, and living another. Unless you have tried and keep trying you have no right to complain. Why should anyone feel sorry for anyone not living how they want to live without putting any effort at all? We shouldn’t. If you want something, work for it, and depending on what it is you may have to put a ridiculous amount of effort into it, or it may be something that can come easily to you. Everything has a cost to it whether it is time, money, friends, family or whatever and if you are not willing to pay then you need to deal with it. Life isn’t easy, and it isn’t meant to be. The most fulfillment you can get from something usually comes from the things you struggled with the most but overcame. We are not entitled to anything we did not work for. Okay, rant over.
Life is written in permanent ink. That ink is time, and the motion that writes is our actions. What you are writing on depends on what legacy you leave behind. Is what you did in your life memorable or did it have an impact? Or were you behind the scenes, or without achievement? Everything we do has a chance to be remembered. We should all live with a consciousness that everything we do will have a consequence, whether good or bad. The trail we leave behind, our footprint will be felt by generations after us. This earth has a finite amount of resources and we will run out if we continue our lives like we are today. The more we care for the earth, the more it will be able to give us. I don’t know about you but I would love to have my future generations enjoy this earth in all its beauty just as we are able to. Ok, rant over.
My number one battle is against Doubt. It is a fight against what I want to achieve versus what I think I can achieve. I have never really had much confidence in myself and I always underestimate myself and the things I create. I feel like most things I make are only so-so and not spectacular. One thing I can tell you is that I have amazing people around me that show me different. They boost me up and make me see that the work I do is actually better than so-so. It still may not be the best but it isn’t as bad as I think it is. Right now I’m a journey of self-discovery. I am trying to find what I would love to do for the rest of my life, what career I will have and how we will raise our daughter. I really want to break free from a 9 to 5 job and be able to be my own boss, work my own schedule and not just work a system like Uber where the payout isn’t all that great. I’m talking about having a successful blog, maybe write a book or two, or something else online. Maybe I could just bee a freelance writer. At this point, I’m not sure, but I know that I want to be able to have more family time. I also want to be able to help my wife reach her dream of having a nice self-sustaining homestead complete with farm animals and garden, especially with Bessie the cow providing us some fresh milk! Doubt gets in the way of all of this because we are comfortable with taking to risk. We grow complacent in where we are and when we have an idea we tend to quickly shut it down because it doesn’t fit into our current lifestyle. If we are going to reach our dreams, reach our goals, we need to ditch doubt and believe that we are capable of doing a lot more than what we give ourselves credit for.
So my wife and I are on this journey together. Actually, my wife is on this journey and I am along for the ride! My wife is becoming a surrogate mother for a wonderful couple! It is becoming official today as she will be receiving the embryo today via embryo transfer.If you want to know more details on the whole surrogacy process I have a post on mywifethestork.com here.
Anyways she will be carrying a baby for 9 months that isn’t hers. This is definitely a different feeling of excitement that I am experiencing. I would have to say that it is a bit less of a selfish excitement and more of I’m happy and excited that my wife is doing something that means so much to her, and that she is experiencing pure joy. I love seeing my wife being this happy and I am glad that I am a part of it.
When I tell people about this whole surrogacy process one question comes up every time and that question is this: “Will you or your wife not have an emotional attachment to the baby?” This is how I answer: “I don’t know.” I can only speculate because I am not at that point yet where I would be able to have an attachment, and neither is my wife. I speculate that I will have an easier time than her being as even with my own child I wasn’t super attached until I held her for the first time. Don’t get me wrong I loved and cared for my baby before she was born, I just didn’t feel a strong attachment because I couldn’t hold her, or physically see her or hear her. My wife, on the other hand, was carrying her, felt her every move, spend the whole 9 months with her, so of course, she was able to become attached. Now I feel like my wife will be successful as well to not have a strong attachment because of the sole fact of the joy that she is giving the intended parents by doing this for them will outweigh the emotional attachment to the baby. We can’t tell for sure how attached we will be until we get there, and to me that is ok.
We can only take one day at a time. Both my wife and I, and the intended parents would like to see our relationships grow between us, maybe become really good friends, and even maybe consider each of us family. I see us at least being good friends at the end of this surrogacy because everything is going well between us now, the vibes are all good, and our personalities complement each other well. I encourage you to follow my blog My Wife the Stork if you would like to stay up to date on our journey through this surrogacy. This is from the perspective of the partner(me). I hope to see you there! I welcome any questions you may have about anything!