Ordinary bores me. It is a dull hum in a busy world. What I would do to not have an ordinary life! If you want to change you have to do something about it. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Most of us meet this definition. We cry and complain about not having this awesome life but we don’t do anything to change our situation. Our heart wants these desires to come true but if we don’t make a logical path to those desires and follow through with action all we are doing is dreaming about one life, and living another. Unless you have tried and keep trying you have no right to complain. Why should anyone feel sorry for anyone not living how they want to live without putting any effort at all? We shouldn’t. If you want something, work for it, and depending on what it is you may have to put a ridiculous amount of effort into it, or it may be something that can come easily to you. Everything has a cost to it whether it is time, money, friends, family or whatever and if you are not willing to pay then you need to deal with it. Life isn’t easy, and it isn’t meant to be. The most fulfillment you can get from something usually comes from the things you struggled with the most but overcame. We are not entitled to anything we did not work for. Okay, rant over.
Life is written in permanent ink. That ink is time, and the motion that writes is our actions. What you are writing on depends on what legacy you leave behind. Is what you did in your life memorable or did it have an impact? Or were you behind the scenes, or without achievement? Everything we do has a chance to be remembered. We should all live with a consciousness that everything we do will have a consequence, whether good or bad. The trail we leave behind, our footprint will be felt by generations after us. This earth has a finite amount of resources and we will run out if we continue our lives like we are today. The more we care for the earth, the more it will be able to give us. I don’t know about you but I would love to have my future generations enjoy this earth in all its beauty just as we are able to. Ok, rant over.
My number one battle is against Doubt. It is a fight against what I want to achieve versus what I think I can achieve. I have never really had much confidence in myself and I always underestimate myself and the things I create. I feel like most things I make are only so-so and not spectacular. One thing I can tell you is that I have amazing people around me that show me different. They boost me up and make me see that the work I do is actually better than so-so. It still may not be the best but it isn’t as bad as I think it is. Right now I’m a journey of self-discovery. I am trying to find what I would love to do for the rest of my life, what career I will have and how we will raise our daughter. I really want to break free from a 9 to 5 job and be able to be my own boss, work my own schedule and not just work a system like Uber where the payout isn’t all that great. I’m talking about having a successful blog, maybe write a book or two, or something else online. Maybe I could just bee a freelance writer. At this point, I’m not sure, but I know that I want to be able to have more family time. I also want to be able to help my wife reach her dream of having a nice self-sustaining homestead complete with farm animals and garden, especially with Bessie the cow providing us some fresh milk! Doubt gets in the way of all of this because we are comfortable with taking to risk. We grow complacent in where we are and when we have an idea we tend to quickly shut it down because it doesn’t fit into our current lifestyle. If we are going to reach our dreams, reach our goals, we need to ditch doubt and believe that we are capable of doing a lot more than what we give ourselves credit for.
So my wife and I are on this journey together. Actually, my wife is on this journey and I am along for the ride! My wife is becoming a surrogate mother for a wonderful couple! It is becoming official today as she will be receiving the embryo today via embryo transfer.If you want to know more details on the whole surrogacy process I have a post on mywifethestork.com here.
Anyways she will be carrying a baby for 9 months that isn’t hers. This is definitely a different feeling of excitement that I am experiencing. I would have to say that it is a bit less of a selfish excitement and more of I’m happy and excited that my wife is doing something that means so much to her, and that she is experiencing pure joy. I love seeing my wife being this happy and I am glad that I am a part of it.
When I tell people about this whole surrogacy process one question comes up every time and that question is this: “Will you or your wife not have an emotional attachment to the baby?” This is how I answer: “I don’t know.” I can only speculate because I am not at that point yet where I would be able to have an attachment, and neither is my wife. I speculate that I will have an easier time than her being as even with my own child I wasn’t super attached until I held her for the first time. Don’t get me wrong I loved and cared for my baby before she was born, I just didn’t feel a strong attachment because I couldn’t hold her, or physically see her or hear her. My wife, on the other hand, was carrying her, felt her every move, spend the whole 9 months with her, so of course, she was able to become attached. Now I feel like my wife will be successful as well to not have a strong attachment because of the sole fact of the joy that she is giving the intended parents by doing this for them will outweigh the emotional attachment to the baby. We can’t tell for sure how attached we will be until we get there, and to me that is ok.
We can only take one day at a time. Both my wife and I, and the intended parents would like to see our relationships grow between us, maybe become really good friends, and even maybe consider each of us family. I see us at least being good friends at the end of this surrogacy because everything is going well between us now, the vibes are all good, and our personalities complement each other well. I encourage you to follow my blog My Wife the Stork if you would like to stay up to date on our journey through this surrogacy. This is from the perspective of the partner(me). I hope to see you there! I welcome any questions you may have about anything!
I am aware of how fast my child is growing up. I cannot grasp the time spent fast enough. Everyone always says “Enjoy it while it lasts, because before long they will be grown up.” There are times when we take for granted the time we get here on earth, and the time that we are able to spend with our loved ones and children. Some of us don’t realize what we missed until it’s gone. I know I have, and sadly I have a feeling it will happen again, and again. I do come across moments where I just know that I need to cherish it. I clear my mind of whatever I was thinking about and I just give to the moment, soaking up all it has to offer. My child snuggling up next to me while watching cartoons or just a few moments of silent embrace with my wife, I try to hold on to that moment, that feeling as long as I can, and sometimes I’m painfully aware that it may never happen again in this uncertain life. It makes me want to re-engage into that moment. I find that when I am aware that I’m stuck in a job that I don’t want to be at because I want to be spending my time with my family that I would give almost anything to be able to use all my time with them. Out of all the currencies in the world, time is the most valuable, and yet we tend to live life like we are time billionaires where in reality we are just above the poverty line. I know this couple that has this motto, “Do what you love and love what you do.” and I find profound beauty in that statement for the sole fact of the famous saying “If you are doing what you love to do you will not have worked a day in your life.” Living this, I feel will cause you to be able to make wise “purchases” with your time.